This week’s peer review looks at a general mailer to promote an 8-month-old church plant in Northwest Arkansas.
Sample:
Front:
Back:
Notes:
Keypoint Church
Lowell, Ark.
Created by Josh Ratcliffe
Keypoint Church is an 8-month-old church plant and their average weekend attendance is around 300. Most people in the area are 25-45 and have children. They also get a lot of business executives and vendors being so close to Wal-Mart’s home office.
They’ve done postcard mailers promoting different sermon series, but this time around they want to promote the church in general. These mailers will probably go out in late January 2006, though they need to be finalized in the next week or so. Josh is looking for feedback on the overall design, colors and layout–the text is not final.
Questions:
- Does the overall design work?
- What does it communicate about the church?
- What do you like about the design?
- What would you change about it?
- Do you have any suggestions for the text?
corey
December 5, 2005
I pickin’ LOVE this. This is one of those cards I wish I’d done. The simplicity is fantastic. The wood paneling is traditional, organic, and “homey”. The razor thin typeface is contemporary and applicable to today’s discerning style nazis. And I’m in a brown and pastel blue phase right now, so it’s extra cool.
How do I get on the mailing list for one of these? I’d like to have a couple for design samples when I consult churches.
s. zeilenga
December 5, 2005
My first impression was : whoa, that is rockin’ !! As a stand alone design it is great. I love the wood look and the fact that it doesn’t follow most normal church design schemes.
As far as communicating about the church though, I am not sure if it says enough. Maybe the front is more to attract attention so in that sense, it is alright. But, does it make you feel at home? Hmmm… I am not sure if it makes me feel homely or more like I am in a sauna at a hotel.
Does it make me want to say, “Now, that is a place I gotta visit”…
Dana O
December 5, 2005
I think it looks cool. Maybe it’s because the PDF size is small, but on the back side, I wouldn’t have kerned the text so tightly. It makes it hard to read quickly (which translates into, maybe people won’t even read it…).
Also, I’m not sure if the good ‘ol USPS would approve of the placement of the “postage paid” stamp or return address. It’s right in the area designated for the OCR scanner to read information in the automation of mail process. I’d be interested to know if these all got through to the intended recipient.
Finally, as a viewer, I wonder what age level of people this is targetted towards. I don’t think you’d grab the 30-50+ age range with this design (not that you need to, but if that was part of the target audience,…then that’s a problem). Also, I wonder what ethnicities go to this church. For example, let’s say I’m African American. Will going to this church make me stick out because I’m the only black person there? Basically, showing some type of look of the church, or the people that go there can be beneficial.
Overall, I like the direction this is going. Nice work! :)
ken
December 5, 2005
That’s simply beautiful. If I were to receive that in the mail, it would catch my eye. It may even go on the fridge. Most commercial pieces don’t have that great color palette. It’s compelling, drawing attention to itself without shouting.
I love the front.
The only thing I would tweak is the back. I love the negative space flourishes over the logo. I think more of that could be worked into the map.
It seems tacked-on and doesn’t feel like it’s well integrated into the rest of the piece.
Everything else is perfect.
Josh
December 5, 2005
Dana O.: Thanks so much for the feedback. To address your concerns… We’re good with the USPS. I’ve used the same address format on a couple of pieces.
As far as ethnicities… There is less than 2% African-American population in Northwest Arkansas. So, “would you be the only black person in this church?”… more than likely, Yes. That sounds terrible… but that’s the demographic down here.
Our target audience for this mailer is 25-45.
Taylor Martyn
December 5, 2005
Does the overall design work?
Yes, it communicates well and to the point
What does it communicate about the church?
Youthful, contemporary, new, edgy, and very accepting in the language of the text
What do you like about the design?
Good color scheme, I like the line art
What would you change about it?
Little bit larger font for the older Lowel community. Possibly tone down the edgyness of the artwork if you are trying to capture a broad audience, I know how super conservative the people are there, having worked in the 2nd largest Baptist church in NW Ark
Do you have any suggestions for the text?
Again, slightly larger text. Conder not using reversed text, it’s much more difficult to read… but then again, it totally depends on the audience you’re going for.
Taylor Martyn
December 5, 2005
Your logo “KeypointChurch” would look better reversed. It’s almost impossible to see “Church.” Maybe consider reversing the whole back. The top would have the silver background and the bottom would have the brown background.
Andrew
December 5, 2005
Great piece…it’s attractive, modern, simple, and compelling. Very well done.
The only area that could use some work is the map. Perhaps you could try creating an isometric map or even use a little perspective.
Overall, though, great job.
Brandon Meek
December 5, 2005
Great job. I really dig it, my main complaint would be the kerning on the back. Those letters are suffocating. Let them breathe man!
As for the indicia, I would have a hard time getting the post office here in Fort Worth to go along with that, I think. They’re usually sticklers for placement, and that certainly doesn’t fit the normal guidelines.
I say great job. I’d love to see some more work if you have samples.
Michael
December 6, 2005
Nice work. Love the front…it is so very warm and inviting.
I agree that the kerning on the back is way to tight.
While I like the design of the back, I wish it tied into the front more, almost seems like to seperate concepts. The front is warm and the back is a bit colder with a bit of an edge.
Well done and I hope it brings many to hear about the love of Christ.
Kevin Peterson
December 6, 2005
At first glance I like the design. Not sure of what you are trying to convey with the wood grain, but I think it looks good.
About the text…
It seems a bit hokey. “…the relaxed atmosphere where people accept you for who you are.” This line may be taken as a bit offensive. They may read and say, “What’s wrong with me that you have to accept me? Is it hard for them to accept me?” Maybe I’m wrong in this, but I think the phrase is a bit cliché.
I would make your logo more prominent on the back. I would also have the website stand out more. That’s where they can go to get all their questions answered so make it bigger.
Looks good, Josh.
Chris
December 6, 2005
Really like it… the blue on the front doesn’t come up so well on my laptop screen, and again on the back. but if printing works then great.
Agree with post above about wood grain, but, even if it doesn’t convey homeyness still like it.
You could maybe emphasise casual and relaxed using the blue text.
Also the “where people accept you for who you are” linguistically doesn’t convince me. I think its something Christians would like to hear, but doesn’t bear the same appeal to the unchurched. I do think it is still important to communicate the non-judgemental-ness of the church, but there might be a nicer way of doing it…. maybe “come as you are”
Only other thing is the white arrow coming up from the bottom, if this was more stylistic – like the left hand corner, i think it would really add to the overall look.
Big well done though, Chris
Josh
December 6, 2005
Incredible feedback everyone. Thanks so much. The text that is shown is not final. In fact, it’s merely there for placement sake. I know it’s kinda hokey-sounding… it will definitely be changed.
The comments here will definitely effect the final product for the better… and that’s what I’m after.
Troy
December 9, 2005
Great design! It should definitely get the attention of young families. It is cool, simple and the hardwood floors give it a touch of warmth- in a cool kind of way. This will look awesome on a glossy card. My only suggestion would be to make sure that the text on the front really pops against the dark background. Maybe trace it out in white or something.
Andrew
January 8, 2006
I’d like to make a comment on the logo of the church. While the logo does a make a clever use of the keypoint, i’d like to tell that my initial reaction to it was that it was the crescent and star of Islam. Probably not exactly something you want as the logo for a Christian church
Tony Chimento
January 9, 2006
Great piece. The only thing I would change is instead of useing the “get in the game” phrase I would use, come see our church home and make it your own or something that wraps around the whole home thing.