This is part 1 of a 9-part series on attending church from a visitor’s perspective.
Here’s a little of my back-story: I was a church planter for a number of years, trying to plant a rather contemporary church for a very traditional denomination. After a couple of years of hard work and a shift in the powers that be, my mother church decided to close my work down.
After this I found myself in an unusual position–for the first time in years I was being welcomed into a church rather than welcoming people into church. Unable to shake my church-planting mentality, I was particularly sensitive to the way churches approached visitors. After visiting a few different churches, I started to realize something: many churches have forgotten what it’s like to go to a church for the first time.
The reason for this seems obvious to me: pastors have been attending church for years. Before they became a pastor, most have received some sort of education while attending a church. In fact, before they even feel the call to the ministry, they have been attending church for years as well—in some cases, they even grew up going to church. All those years of faithful church attendance has groomed them to serve Christ’s church. At the same time, all those years form an insurmountable gap between now and the time they first darkened the door of a church.
Consequently, some churches make some very basic mistakes when they welcome a visitor. If they welcomed you to a dinner party like they welcome a visitor to their church you would never want to come over for dinner again. They are so glad to see you that they make an embarrassing scene. After shaking your hand they ignore you, leaving you to fend for yourself. They exclude you by talking about things you’ve never heard of. They even slip into the common jargon of their friends, leaving you out of the conversation altogether. On top of these faux pas, they forget that you are a little nervous to be there in the first place. Who would want to be at that party? Who would put themselves through that a second time?
I hope to be part of the solution. As a pastor who has been visiting a lot of churches over the last couple of years, I would like to share with you some of my experiences in being welcomed (or not). I hope some of my experiences can help you avoid the common mistakes churches make–and prevent me from making them myself, now that I am the pastor of a church again.
Church From a Visitor’s Perspective: A 9-Part Series
- A Visitor’s Perspective: An Embarrassing Problem
- A Visitor’s Perspective: The Welcoming Paradox
- A Visitor’s Perspective: Watch your Language!
- A Visitor’s Perspective: Verbose Nomenclature
- A Visitor’s Perspective: I Must Be in the Front Row!
- A Visitor’s Perspective: One is the Loneliest Number
- A Visitor’s Perspective: A Visit from the Mystery Worshipper
- A Visitor’s Perspective: The Strangers Among Us
More:
- Learn more about how to welcome church visitors with this massive collection of resources and blog posts.
- Walking into a church for the first time can be scary. Check out Unwelcome: 50 Ways Churches Drive Away First-Time Visitors by Jonathan Malm for practical ideas and perspective on first-time guests.
Conrad
September 11, 2007
True! Sometimes church can be an exclusive club, understood only by those who’ve been there a while.
I try to visit one different church a month to learn how they do things better or to just go through that “first time visitor” experience and re-live and learn from that experience.
I’m no pastor but I do this for my church.
Mickey
September 11, 2007
I’m looking forward to this series – it should be very enlightening.
I think it’s important to keep this perspective in mind on our church websites as well. Most people say that a church website needs to serve two distinct groups of people: members and non-members.
However, I think the “non-members” needs to be split into both Christians and non-Christians. There’s a big difference between someone visiting your website (or church) that came from another church vs. one that has never been to church before.
John
September 11, 2007
I am also a church hopper…I like to visit other churches to get a sense of waht goes on…they do tend to seem like private clubs with often little concern for being warm and welcoming to newbies. Sometimes it seems like they are putting on a show, instead of showing people the way.
Jose Noy
September 11, 2007
Good post… I am looking forward to hear your perspective on the welcome part of the church.
pkillur
September 11, 2007
Having to recently find a new church after a move to a new state – this is so applicable. I think a lot of churches have lost the concept of individualism of a congregation – even though it exists in every church. The church that tries to be everything for everyone typically ends up being a neutered not a lot for everyone kinda church.
I look forward to reading!
Pastor Chris
September 11, 2007
I look forward to your post. I’ve written some first time visitor articles at Evangelism Coach and look forward to hearing about yours.
We are still visitors in our current church, having been there about 4 weeks. Its a mega church, so there is no rush for people to meet us.
Pastor Chris
EvangelismCoach.org
Aaron Marshall
September 11, 2007
Church is uncomfortable… Where else do you sing songs while staring at a trippy powerpoint with people you don’t know, eat a cracker, take a shot of juice, drop money into a crushed velvet bag and listen to one dude talk about events we weren’t at and worlds we can’t see…
In design they call it “User Experience”
Tough Job for us all… Great Topic!!!
Aaron Marshall
September 11, 2007
Church is uncomfortable… Where else do you sing songs while staring at a trippy powerpoint with people you don’t know, eat a cracker, take a shot of juice, drop money into a crushed velvet bag and listen to one dude talk about events we weren’t at and worlds we can’t see…
In design they call it “User Experience”
Tough Job for us all… Great Topic!!!
HEATHER PALACIOS
September 11, 2007
I am really, really, really looking forward to this series of posts from you. Please speak to us – how can we make these lambs feel welcome in our pasture????
Roland Thomas Gilbert
September 11, 2007
So true! I’ve said many times that finding a new church is HARD WORK. Now as a Communications Director for a church, coming from a video production and radio background, I take the visitor’s experience very seriously and take our weekly attendance very personally [whether I should or not]. I’m looking forward to gleaning your wisdom.
Conrad
September 11, 2007
In design they call it “User Experience”
I almost wrote that but didn’t want to sound too nerdy, but thanks! I’ve heard design terms used in our church like “Accessibility” and not physically but how accessible are we as a church? “Flow” what is a typical flow for every person that enters the door.. walk through the steps and make it as smooth or help direct them.
At our mens group we talk about how not to hang out in church as the same group cause it is easy to form a click and everyone has their group and the newbies are left out.
Ok, end of nerdy talk!
Josh Nunn
September 11, 2007
I saw on the news a couple weeks ago, a reporter visited 7 different Christian Events/places/churches to basically see what it was all about. and had a camera following him.
http://www.cbc.ca/national/blog/video/seven_mark_kelley/seven_christian_soldiers.html
Theres even a church marketing guy in the video… I thought about posting it in the CML, a while ago, but since this is here…
Milan Ford - "40"
September 11, 2007
Great stuff David!
A visitor’s perspective is just what the church needs to hear from every once in a while…
I am dedicated my blogspot, The Pew View, for that very purpose.
Look forward to reading the rest of your articles…
http://www.thepewview.com
Chris Harmon
September 12, 2007
I was going to write something quick about how I’m looking forward to more of the posts, and instead just wrote my own thoughts on my experiences as well… finding a church home.
Mike Ellis, Church For Men Florida
September 12, 2007
Great Thoughts. We have created a monthly stepping stone church experience for Men in Daytona Beach, FL called “Church for Men”. We are striving to create a church as unusual event for men. I look forward to the rest of your comments.
brad
September 12, 2007
That CBC piece rocked! Thanks for sharing it, Josh. That is worth a whole CMS series on its own!
To see where it’s coming from, you need to know that CBC seems to come from a viewpoint of global skepticism. That is usually applied to religion, specifically Christianity. So that it’s as balanced as it is remarkable. That it drills home questions of message vs. medium and substance vs. style makes it particularly relevant here.
revolutionfl
September 12, 2007
I have been visiting local churches for the past three months. I post Field Trip Reports for each church on my blog after each visit.
REVOLUTION
Tinia
September 15, 2007
I work for MEGA church in Tacoma, WA area. We take our guests very seriously. I think this topic is so important for today’s way of “church” How we engage with that brief moment with our guests each week is vital. We value our guests at Champions Centre. I’m eager to hear what your thoughts are.
Mikey
October 23, 2007
Guess I’ve been around church too long myself. And I’m the guy who’s supposed to reach the unchurched! Can’t wait to see the rest of the series!
Mikey
October 23, 2007
I’ve been around church a long time. And I’m the guy who’s supposed to reach the unchurched! Can’t wait to read the material…
Steve / Austin, Texas
November 12, 2007
Wow, this 9 part series really described how I have felt as a first time visitor many times. I hope many churches will take heed to such a useful insight.
Another suggestion I might offer is that a church should have a “real person” to answer the phone at least an hour before and during any service or event that is happening there. If I’m a first time visitor I may want to call to find out when the service starts or get directions if I’m new to town. Many times elderly people don’t know the night before If they will physically feel well enough to attend church until just before a service. If nobody answers the phone who can they call to request a ride? Often they don’t want to be a “bother” to anybody so they stay at home and watch a church service on T.V. which can never be a substitute for fellowship with others. A few days ago I rode with some friends to a large church in San Antonio to hear a nationally known speaker. The directions we printed from a popular map website were confusing and we drove around for an extra hour trying to find the place. The Church was packed but NOBODY answered the fricken phone and we missed over half of the event! And hey, if you can use the word “suck” I can use the word “fricken”! :)
William Melver
January 12, 2009
I come from a corporate marketing world, now retired and serving on Session of my church and the moderator of the Membership Committee. While I find all the above comments to be relevant, I find them a bit distracting from the true mission of the Church and what we are or should be about. Use of the very term, Marketing connotes commercialism to me in a manner very similar to how the Christmas message often gets lost for the same focus on commercialism. But in this highly commercialized world we live in, that reality must be accepted and I get that. In our church, we often talk about all the issues discussed in the blogs above and try to be sensitive to them, as we put ourselves in the shoes of a stranger, visiting us for the first time. But at the same time, we try to discern about who we are and what our personal and individual, spiritual growth is about and try to communicate that message to our neighbors and strangers that walk through our doors. Last year, we created a new vision statement for the future and that is “Come-Encounter-Grow-Serve”.
Veronica Michael
September 11, 2010
One question we all have to ask ourselves is what are we looking for in a church, what are the desires of your heart. Are you seeking to find all answers to every problem that you are faced with, are you waiting to hear someone say what you want them to say maybe to satisfy a wish or a want in your life. Then you will never be satisfied.
The welcome or greeting that you receive along with the sermon is very important and in most cases will have a lasting affect on you and whether you choose to return.
But that should never be the final determining factor in your mind about all churches they are not all alike, if they were there would be no members to occupy. Maybe you are being to picky or judgemental if your heart and mind is not right spiritually,once again you will never be satisfied. If you do not have a relationship with God then you need to develop one He will never force His way into your life however he is always waiting for you to invite Him in. It is very simple all you have to do is ask Him in and He will guide and direct your paths. Stop depending on man to do for for you what only God can and will do in your life. We all live in a sinful world and have all come short of God’s glory and yes we are all sinners and human so you will never find that perfect church setting that you are looking for. The church is a building, a house of God filled with sinners seeking repentence where one may choose to go to commune, worship and fellowship and to hear a word from the Lord and maybe if you get pass the Entrance and allow yourself to be led by the Spirit of the Lord then maybe you will hear something that will change your life forever.
Remember only God can forgive you and save you try Him today and I know that you will never regret it. Be Blessed