Church Signs that Suck

July 21, 2005 by

A couple weeks ago we were pointed to Crummy Church Signs, a site that lists bad church sign slogans. Nothing like a kindred spirit.

Check out a few of the especially cringe-worthy slogans:

  • “Don’t get depressed, come get blessed!”
  • “Jesus should be your steering wheel, not your spare tire.”
  • “Backsliding is the biblical term for the summer slump.”
  • “Go to church or the devil will get you.”
  • “Abortion: Hitler would have loved it.”

Please, for the love of all things decent, don’t use your church sign to broadcast lame quips.

Post By:

Kevin D. Hendricks

When Kevin isn't busy as the editor of Church Marketing Sucks, he runs his own writing and editing company, Monkey Outta Nowhere. Kevin has been blogging since 1998, runs the hyperlocal site West St. Paul Reader, and has published several books, including 137 Books in One Year: How to Fall in Love With Reading, The Stephanies and all of our church communication books.
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9 Responses to “Church Signs that Suck”

  • Culture
    July 21, 2005

    Bad Church Signs

    Crummy Church Signs Yes, it is a little outside our frame of reference but I needed a laugh today and I hope you will think this is funny as I did. If not, light me up! Link discovered through churchmarketingsucks. Happy weekend for me! See you Monday….

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  • PapaCool
    July 21, 2005

    Thanks for a good laugh. Had I seen these titles, it would have made me look at the bulletin twice!

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  • wormeyman
    July 22, 2005

    Call me weird or wrong but i acually like those quips :p

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  • Big Mike Lewis
    July 22, 2005

    Yeah man! Those were totally lame!

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  • dave
    July 22, 2005

    I find lame church signs to be an immediate turn-off. I suppose part of it is that I assume a church with one of those signs is probably also big on bumper-sticker theology and witnessing by wearing T-shirts.
    Then again, I suppose the Christians who love bad puns need a place to feel welcome, just like cowboys need their cowboy churches and bikers need their biker churches.

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  • Ryan Heneise
    July 23, 2005

    How about “Avoid Truth Decay: Read the King James Version”. I saw that one on a church sign in Florida.

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  • Gigahertz Inc.
    October 16, 2005 lets you make your own church sign to send as a online greeting card (a “just for fun” generator).

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  • Matt
    October 11, 2010

    There was a sign by I-35 in Emporia, KS that says “Accept Jesus now… or REGRET IT FOREVER”

    All we do is laugh at it… I can’t imagine what non-Christians think! :-)

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  • Tam C.
    December 9, 2011


    I had an email conversation with the pastor, who I know since his kids and my kids were friends. I told him that his sign seemed kind of hostile and petulant, and certainly not very open or compassionate. He changed it the next day to CHRISTMAS IS ABOUT JESUS CHRIST! DEAL WITH IT OR GET YOUR OWN HOLIDAY!

    SO much nicer and more Christlike the second time around… Sigh….

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